comfort

A short time ago, two very good friends of ours asked Gabe and I have to have supper with them. At the time, we thought nothing of it. The four of us had a lot in common; both of us were expecting our first child in the summer, and I’d known both of them for over 15 years combined. We thought it was just supper. We were wrong.

Those two friends asked us to do something that nobody likes to do: step out of our comfort zone into an experience that would stretch us and our faith farther than we ever imagined.

Being comfortable is something that I’ve struggled with all my life. I’m a very selfish person when it comes to my comfort. Who isn’t, right? Being uncomfortable is the opposite of fun. It’s sad. Everyone takes comfort for granted. Americans have no idea what it’s like to be uncomfortable like people in third-world countries. Well people have no idea what being sick every day is like. People that have air conditioning and heat have no idea what living without it means. And, saved people that want nothing more out of life or their walk with Christ have no idea what it’s like to be called into the ministry.

I was 14 when I received the call on my life as a music minister. Before Gabe and I married, I made it clear that one day, there was a possibility that we’d have to leave everything we knew and start over because I was called to a ministry away from here.

I was 26 when I realized that ministry was with Brandon and Megan Goff. I met Brandon in the summer of 2001 on a summer youth trip the IPHC hosts every year. Our respective youth groups were traveling together in order to save money, and I ended up making a few friends for life on that trip. I met Megan a couple years later in the summer of 2003. I began attending the church she was born and raised in, and we were soon on praise team, learning together as we went. Brandon and Megan approached us with this vision they had for a church in the Northeastern part of Columbia. While we were a little taken back by the offer, Gabe and I decided that we’d take a week, pray about it, and see if it was what the Lord had for us. Sure enough, a few days later, we had received confirmation from three different sources that had no idea about the offer we’d received.

Once we decided to join Brandon and Megan on this journey, we began to see that the Lord was making us uncomfortable in several different areas of our lives. As I said, we have an infant. He turned three months a few days ago, and moving an hour away from parents and every support system we know is a little scary. Moving to an area where we know severely less people than we know here is scary enough without adding the fact that Gabe will have to find another job that can support us while Brandon and I painstakingly make the journey towards income. Those things combined with several others are things that would normally scare the pants off anyone, especially me. But, through this short journey we’ve taken with Brandon and Megan, we’ve realized that comfortable is not always the best place to be.

If we, as Christians, are not careful, we will always return to what we’re used to instead of reaching for what we know we are destined for. We must have an experience with God on a daily basis. He must show up during the monotony of our lives if we ever wish to get out of the comfort zones we have settled ourselves into. Life will slowly rock us to sleep and suck the life from us if we refuse to attain the greatness God has created for us.

One of my favorite things I’ve ever heard Tony Miller say is this, “We will not be judged so much for what we are, but for what we refuse to become.” I refuse to sit idly by and let the ministry opportunity that God has presented to me and my family pass. I am setting out to do what some people probably think is insane in the days we’re living. But, sometimes I think we ministers have to be a little bit crazy in order to get out of our own way in order to see what the Lord has for us.

If you feel like this ministry is something you would be willing to partner with, whether it be through prayer or financial support, please contact me or Brandon at any time. If you are a pastor, and you would be willing to have us come share our vision for this church, we would be honored to share with your body of believers.

You can contact me at radiatemusicmin@gmail.com, on Facebook through our Group Page: “Radiate Church – Loving God and Radiating It”, or you can follow us on Twitter. My username is @EmilyFelker, Gabe’s is @BubbaGabe22, and the church is @RadiateChurch.

This is such an important time in our lives, and we can only see the start of what God has begun to do through us. We love you all, and we thank you for your prayers and support in advance.

Hasta,
Em

joy of salvation

Why do we have so much trouble and so many issues with keeping the joy of our salvation?

Hebrews 5:9 says this:

[9] And, [His completed experience] making him perfectly [equipped], He because the Author and Source of eternal salvation to all those who give heed and obey Him.

Just because you’re the creator of something doesn’t mean you’re the only source for it.

How many different companies exist to provide the world with cosmetics, televisions and computers all claiming to be the best at what they do? There are millions of companies, sometimes even within the same corporation, that claim their product is the best. It’s better, stronger, faster, smoother, clearer…you name it.

Not so with salvation. God created Jesus. Therefore, He created salvation. See, salvation and Jesus are synonymous. They are one and the same. There is no salvation without Christ and there is no Christ without God. Salvation is the only commodity that can only be purchased through one place: Calvary.

Salvation is not the absence of sin, but the ability to be cleared of that sin.

Going further into Hebrews, chapter 12, verses 1 and 2 says this:

[1] Therefore then, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who have borne testimony to the Truth], let us strip off and throw aside every encumbrance (unnecessary weight) and that sin which so readily (deftly and cleverly) cling to and entangles us, and let us run with patient endurance and steady and active persistence the appointed course of the race that is set before us.
[2] Looking away [from all that will distract] to Jesus, Who is the Leader and the Source of our faith [giving the first incentive for our belief] and is also its Finisher [bringing it to maturity and perfection]. He, for the joy [of obtaining the prize] that was set before Him, endured the cross, despising and ignoring the shame, and is now seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Again, these verses point to Jesus being the center of our salvation. Because salvation ensures the ability to be forgiven, it’s important that we see in verse 1 where it says that we should get rid of every “(unnecessary weight) and … sin”. This is where Paul lets us know that there are things besides sin that cause us to not finish the race. Faith serves very little purpose when you’re off course.

Sin is anti-holiness, but the weight is the worldly things that are definitely NOT lightening your load. Sin can be forgiven. It’s the weight that makes us lacking and doing without.

If the purpose of something is unknown, abuse is inevitable. To find out the purpose of something, you must ask the creator. Why is our faith so difficult to find joy in? Why is it so difficult to keep the joy of our salvation? Because we don’t ask the Creator and Finisher of that faith. Personally, if God created the beginning and he has already written the end, how can I be so bold and arrogant as to not trust Him with everything between?

God can create your faith. But, he can’t make you have it or keep it. He’s the creator of faith, and in this situation, He is the only source for it.

Since January…

I’ve been horrible at this. I don’t update nearly as much as I would like nor as much as I should. So, since Eli is three months old today, and I’ve been home with him with the exception of two weeks to work my notice at McLeod, I figured, “Hey…you should really get this blog thing together, ma’am.” So…here goes.

Since January, obviously, I’ve given birth to the best thing I’ve ever done! Eli is three months old today, and he is absolutely the center of our world! He was born June 6, 2011 at 4:04 in the afternoon. He weighed 7 pounds and 4 ounces and measured 21 inches long.

Five minutes after he was born...

This is a fairly recent picture, taken a couple of weeks ago.

I gave my notice the day I went back to work, and I’ve been at home with him ever since. There is nothing in the world like it, and there’s not one cent in the world worth not being with him every day. I have thoroughly enjoyed being at home with him, and with my Mama and niece, Lizzie, so close, it’s just been extremely fun!

I’ve really started enjoying being a Thirty-One consultant now that I have a little more time to devote to it. I’ve gotten a little better at housework and staying up on it…I have my bad days (ok…weeks), but overall, I’m not doing too bad. I make sure Eli has clothes to wear and bottles to drink out of, and as my Mama says to me, “You and Gabe can root, hog or die.” (Gotta love these southern-isms.)

One of the most exciting things that Gabe and I have decided to be a part of is a church plant. Two very good friends that are married and just had a baby themselves (17 days before Eli as a matter of fact) have been given a vision for a church plant, and Gabe and I feel called to the vision and are going to join them in planting the church. More details about that later.

This is by no means an all-encompassing “catch-me-up” entry, but these are some of the biggest changes in our lives since the start of the year. I’ll update more as the days and months go by.

Hasta,
Em

racham

My brother-in-law bought me a Journaling Bible two years ago for Christmas, and I love it. I’m one of those people that has a Bible in a lot of different translations because it’s interesting to me to see how the word of God translates to different people groups. I know some are translations, some are paraphrases, some are loose, some are close, but my favorite might be The Amplified Bible.

If you couldn’t tell by now, I love words. I love the piecing together of phrases that tell someone just how you’re feeling or thinking. I especially love when words jump off the page and give you a brand new revelation of what they mean.

My first year as a counselor at Camp Robinson was the summer before my senior year of high school. I’d been asked to do the early morning devotion by the lake the next morning, and I was sitting on my porch reading and trying to see where the Lord was taking me. I ended up in the Psalms and kept coming back to Psalm 51.

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David; when Nathan the prophet came to him after he had sinned with Bathsheba.

1HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.
2Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!
3For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.
4Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment.
5Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful].
6Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.
7Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.
8Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.
9Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.
10Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.
11Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.
12Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.
13Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.
14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).
15O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
16For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.
17My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.
18Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19Then will You delight in the sacrifices of righteousness, justice, and right, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering; then bullocks will be offered upon Your altar.

I was reading it over and over again and the words that kept coming to me were consequence and circumstance, but I could never quite get what I wanted to get out of the passage to fortify those two words. Tim Hodge walked up and asked me what I was reading, and I told him. I explained to him my predicament, and he said, (loosely paraphrased of course) “The word mercy in this passage is the Hebrew word racham. It means to have compassion and lovingly forgive and forget.” The rest, as they say, was history. It began rolling up in my spirit about the way God forgives us. He doesn’t look at us and say, “Oh, Me. She messed up again. Am I ever going to be able to stop forgiving her for the same thing?!” No! He looks at us with compassion, and He loves on us, and He tells us we’re forgiven even when what we did was really dumb.

I mean, this was what David wrote after sinning with Bathsheba! He had royally messed up! This is the heart’s cry of a man who knows how wrong he’s been. He knows just how bad he’s made things. He knows the enemy has just come in and run roughshod all over his life, but he also knows his God. He knows he’s forgiving to a fault, loves us more than life, and wants us to do better.

Ok, so you may ask how I tied consequence and circumstance in there, and this is where the beginning and end of this entry will all come together…hopefully. :)

I was an English major in college, and as such, had to do several literary analyses and word studies. If you take the two words and break them down by prefix, circum and con, you get two different, yet similar ideas. Circum- as a prefix means the perimeter of something as in the circumference of a circle or circumnavigation. Con- translates as “with”.

Circumstances are things that cause you to do something, whether what you do is good or bad. They are all the things going on around you at the time when you sin. Friends pressuring you to do something you know you shouldn’t; co-workers stressing you out to the point of pre-meditated murder; family making you so crazy you want to strangle them…all circumstances. They present you with the opportunity; you decide how to act on it.

Consequences are the results of how you react to your circumstances. You let your friends talk you into something wrong; you get in trouble with your parents. You kill your co-workers; you get incarcerated…and probably fired. You let your family drive you crazy, you just end up crazy, because they’re your family. What do you do, right? Regardless of what you did, there are ALWAYS consequences and repercussions.

But, God.

He has mercy. He forgives. He forgets. He loves us in spite of our stupidity. We’re sheep. Sheep are some of the least intelligent animals on the planet. But, we have a Shepherd. What a Shepherd. He leaves the 99 to find the one little lost lamb after he’s gone off and done something he shouldn’t have. We are all important. We are all worth saving. To Him, we were all worth dying for.

And, in the prayer I prayed after that devotion, I said, “Lord, let our circumstances be reasons for victory, not excuses for defeat.”

Harmony

Sitting in Sunday school a few weeks back, Dean was teaching on worship and why we worship and what we worship. At one point, the topic of conversation turned to harmony and how we achieve or obtain it with the Father. Dean asked for a few definitions of harmony from the class. A few people threw out their opinions and then one said, “Being one with the Father.”
 
As a musical person by nature and by calling, harmony is part of what I do. Harmony isn’t being one with the Father. It isn’t sounding just like the Father. It isn’t even sounding like the Father’s people.
 
Harmony is musically defined as “the simultaneous combination of tones especially when blended into chords pleasing to the ear”. Another definition states it as a “pleasing arrangement of parts”. But, the most outstanding word found in the definitions to me was congruity.
 
I’m not a math whiz, but if I remember correctly, congruent shapes in geometry were extremely similar, even appearing to be the same, but they weren’t. They were congruent. Alike, not identical.
 
Harmony isn’t being one with the Father. It’s being so like Him that what you do sounds perfect next to what He does.

Holy cow…

I’m pregnant!

You heard me. The baby is going to have a baby!

I always thought people who said, “I just feel pregnant” were crazy. That is, until I felt it. I had a couple of very early symptoms. I felt increasingly tired, had bad headaches and was really emotional (yes, more so than normal), but above anything else, I just FELT pregnant. So, I told Gabe I thought I might be and he just said, “Well, let’s just wait it out and see.” Anyone who knows me knows that’s pretty close to impossible. I don’t wait much of anything out. So, of course Impatient went and bought pregnancy tests. I think I bought three the first time, and took them over a period of about two weeks. They all came back negative. I could have gotten discouraged, I could have been a little disheartened, but I still felt like I was pregnant. So, I bought another box of tests about a week later and took the first one. I bought the foolproof ones that time…you know the kind that actually read “pregnant” or “not pregnant”. When the first one came out “not pregnant”, Gabe told me not to take one again until I felt certain I had a reason. So, I agreed I wouldn’t take one again for at least another week. That lasted all of about…oh, 3 days.

On September 28th, 2010, our lives changed forever. The test came back “pregnant”. I jumped up and down. I cried. I laughed. I sat and said, “Good Lord, what in the world are we gonna do with a kid? We are kids!” It really is a rush of a lot of different emotions. But, it’s the greatest feeling in the world. I sent Gabe a picture message of the test, and he called and said, “You got that off the interent. Quit messing with me.” Haha…nope. Didn’t get it off the interent. That’s real. And it really sunk in how real when we went and had the first ultrasound done at 7 weeks. That heartbeat inside that little butterbean…I mean, it’s just all too real to take in. But, it was so awesome.

So, I’ve not blogged in a while, and I figured now is the time to start. There are family and friends that don’t get to see us as often as they’d like, so here’s where you can find out what’s going on in the world of Em, Gabe, The Butterbean and Stoney. Don’t forget about Stoney. He’s still our first kid until the baby comes. ;)

Woman…thou art submissive…

I don’t normally use the Message paraphrase because that’s what it is: a paraphrase, but it seems to be the most current and relevant version of this passage.

A good woman is hard to find,
   and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
   and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
   all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
   and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
   and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
   for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
   then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
   rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
   is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
   diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
   reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
   their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
   and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
   when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
   brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
   and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
   and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
   and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
   her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
   but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
   The woman to be admired and praised
   is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
   Festoon her life with praises! 
Proverbs 31:10-31 [themessage]
 
Several times in Scripture, it speaks very clearly to the wife staying home to take care of the household and the children. It also talks about the woman being a provider simply in the house. But then in this passage alone it talks about her working diligently, and also spending money and buying property; money that she either had to make or ask her husband for and property that she works herself.  
 
The best way to relate this to a current school-of-thought is to put it like this: 

A woman’s job throughout all history and even to an extent today has consisted mostly of keeping the house and tending to the children. The man has always worked and provided for the family. Even today in post-feminist America, the man is more responsible for making the majority of the money in the household and tending to the outside work of the house while the woman is held accountable, quite frankly, for everything else. It even comes down sometimes to the education of the children for the woman to handle. Especially in Christian households, and that’s where the submissive nature (or lack thereof) comes in.
 
Ephesians 5:22 (ESV) says very plainly, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” [emphasis mine] That’s one of the biggest problems with the attitude towards submissive lifestyles. Women don’t submit to their husbands as they would to the Lord. The other problem with that comes from verse 25 (ESV), where it says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…” [emphasis mine] Some husbands have this mindset that they are the husband, what they say goes, nobody else has an opinion, and that’s not the mindset Christ created for marriage. Christ created the mindset that the husband is the head of the house as he is the head of the church, and the wife is to love her husband and she loves the Lord. So, all else is irrelevant if you really think about it.
 
Whether a woman works, whether a woman stays at home with a slew of kids, whether a woman cooks every night or whether she simply makes sure her husband and family eats, it’s not an issue if the submission mentality is in line. If the vertical relationship between a man or woman and God is correctly aligned, the horizontal relationship between husband and wife will fall into place, as will every other relationship. This couple I know was talking about how many kids they wanted, and after going back and forth about two or three kids for a few minutes, he said to her, “The number of children really doesn’t matter all that much to me. The fact that I found you and that I know it’s a God-thing is enough of a foundation for me to begin on. The rest will simply fall into place.”
 
What he said sounds simple, almost too simple, and a little laissez-faire if you over analyze it, but if we really step back and think about how many things we allow to cause us grief just because we’re confused about what God is saying to us about it, it all boils down to one thing: letting God finally rule our hearts and minds with full and complete control. There is a very different result when that happens. The result is submitting yourself to the perfect will of God, regardless of how many paths it takes you to get there.

Looking back…

When I look back on the last three years of our life together, it’s hard to remember what my own life was like before you. I used to journal a lot, even when we first started dating, and I kept a record of everything I thought was significant – which was everything at that time. Then, the writing slowly began to stop. The journaling didn’t seem so important; the remembrance of every little thing that happened started to meld into one big event, and even the nights we stayed awake talking until 4 AM began to become the same night. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and months because our one-year wedding anniversary before I even knew it, and all I can remember is what happened after February 1, 2006.

 

Interior decorating my house, picking me up over the mud puddles in my yard on the way to steal the metal monkeys hanging in the trees, watching A Walk to Remember with Shannon and Austin, holding my hand on the couch during a really girly movie, telling me after just a few weeks you knew you could marry me because I knew all the positions on the baseball field in numerical order, asking me to be your girlfriend while I sat and decided to make you squirm a little, standing on the floor while my feet were firmly planted in the couch kissing you all over your face, dancing with me in the rain, watching the sunrise through the fog on my birthday, laying in the back of the F-150 on Winston, my horrible bout with fever blisters and not being able to kiss me for weeks, Drift off to Dream, Home, suffering through me wanting to go to Lee and being relieved and devastated at the same time when I couldn’t go, and the list could go on forever.

 

And, just when I thought it could get no better, you asked me to be your wife on your knee in my apartment, in the middle of American Idol, no less. You should have known at that point you’d never find anybody more dedicated. I’ve met a lot of men in my life, and I can honestly say there has never been and will never be another Gabriel Jacob. I know I compare a lot of our lives to songs; I do it constantly. But, baby…I fly so high when you’re around that my feet don’t touch the ground.

HILARIOUS!

TEN COMMANDMENTS EBONICS STYLE

Sometimes you have to get the message across as best you can. Try this for those who can’t understand the King James Version:

1. I’m God. Don’t play me.
(I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any other gods before me.)

2. Don’t be makin no hood ornaments and charms outta me, or like me.
(Thou shalt not have any graven images)

3. Don’t be callin’ me for no reason.
(Thou shalt not use the name of the Lord thy God in vain)

4. Y’all betta be in church on Sunday, and not just the Sundays when it’s Mother’s day, Easter and Christmas.
(Remember to keep the Sabbath day holy)

5. Don’t dis or cuss out yo momma… and if you know who ya daddy is, don’t dis him neither.
(Honor thy father and thy mother)

6. Don’t be goin’ on no drive bys.
(Thou shalt not kill)

7. Stick to ya own Boo.
(Thou shalt not commit adultery)

8. Don’t be borrow’n stuff and don’t give it back.
(Thou shalt not steal)

9. Don’t be snitchin’ on the otha’ man to save your behind.
(Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy brother)

10. Don’t be eyein’ (skeeming) yo homie’s crib, ride, woman, or nuffin.
(Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy brother).

There’s this Stoney song…

that goes a little something like this:

[in lieu of an answer/i ask you this question/it's not necessary just suggested/do you want me/do you love me/will you kiss me/will you hold me/the further i get down this road/the closer i get to you/it's tomorrow now and i'm on my way/the sun of man is coming up with the day/my babies know Daddy's driving as fast as he can/the further i get down this road/the closer i get to you]

Yea, it’s a love song written by a man who’s on the road all the time and who’s away from his wife and kids. It’s a song about how driving sucks and the method of traveling to his family is the reason he’s always away from his family, but ironically, that’s the only way to get to them.

The chorus is very simple: [so let the song just sing itself/don't try to hard to find it/you're catching all the stones/you'll find it hard to realize that/the further i get down this road/the closer i get to you]

Music nerd that I am, I understand that some songs have to be sung. Some sing themselves. Some songs, though the words are extremely simple, take a lot of energy to sing. You have to concentrate on words, notes, rests and breaks, cadences…the list could go on forever. Other songs, however, are wordy and sloppy, but the melody line is simple, to the point, and can cut through the most somber of moods and days.

Some days seem to never end. Sometimes, days even run together to the point where we can’t remember what happened the day before. The commute to work can be an 8-minute drive, but it feels like it never ends. The 15 minutes between 4:45 and 5:00 crawl by like molasses. But get home to a husband that has missed you all day and a puppy who’s ready to just about lick your face off, and 15 minutes seems like it passes in mere seconds. Go to lunch with a new friend you didn’t expect to meet, and an hour-long lunch break flies by in minutes.

Having said all that, I say this:

The ways we operate, the methods we use…they all boil down to one thing. The things in life we despise and disregard the most are the things that will will move us the farthest. The things we love to hate and absolutely despise needing are oftentimes the things that push us to be better, to do better in life.

Don’t run from the things you hate just because you hate them. Look deeper; see past how you resent something that (though it sucks) makes you better.

Hasta,
Em